What Memorial Day means to me...

--Just three years ago, I was pregnant with Keira and Mr. B was in Iraq... we lost 8 Marines that deployment.

--Just two years ago, I was taking care of my little girl and her daddy was in Afghanistan. I almost lost my husband just a few months later, and with the grace of God, the RPG blast sprayed shrapnel in another direction. We lost 20 men that deployment.

That deployment changed my outlook on life. Yes, I am a Marine veteran myself, but I was detached from all the sacrifices men and women made while deploying. I didn't understand the pain of separation, the emotional rollarcoaster of not hearing from my significant other, and futhermore, the grief we all shared when some of our brave Marines didn't step off of the buses on homecoming day. I thank all of them for watching my husband's back through both of those deployments, directly and indirectly. I am also thankful for those that have sacrificed their lives before and after in order to preserve our way of life. It will continue to break my heart to see a Gold star wife or mom. A child that will never know their father..their hero.  But, I know that these brave men and women sacrificed their life for the greater good of mankind, and to fight for our liberties and the continuing pursuit of happiness. God bless them all!

Today, I get to eat breakfast with two beautiful little girls and my husband. I get to hear my 2 year old's laughter as she playfully pounces her daddy. I couldn't wish for a better day. :)

Semper Fidelis.

"All gave some, some gave all."

My week so far..

1. LOST

Sunday, I managed to watch the final episode of Lost, and it brought me into tears. I understand that it left some viewers disgruntled with unanswered questions, but I LOVE history and it all made sense. Not to criticize anyone or anything, but you simply need to look at the big picture of the entire show instead of dissecting useless amount of information.

My take of the finale: Seasons back I had speculated that the characters were in "purgatory".

"First, what is purgatory? Purgatory is a state or condition of purification in which the souls of the faithful departed are purified of their sins and faults after death. For according to the Book of Revelation, "nothing impure can enter heaven" (Rev 21:27)." http://www.opusangelorum.org/Formation/Purgatory.html

~I realized that they couldn't really 'leave' the island, and they were all reconcile what they had done in their life prior to the crash.
~Jacob and the smoke monster: (I am not religious and this was my own personal take..-so don't burn me, lol~) I figured that their needed to be a good force and an evil force to "test" the characters to see where they belonged.. Heaven or Hell... The bad characters were swept up and killed by the smoke monster, and the good people died of other causes.
~Jack's final trial- finally being able to "let go" and grieve over his dad's death. I believe that when he finally "let go" was when he was able to move on.
~Ben left behind- Ben hasn't reconciled his past, and the things that he had done. Sadly, he wasn't ready to move on.

I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on what happened, but I do know that the show left me touched. I am thankful for the ending, and it definitely opened up a can of emotional, and psychological worms. There is things that I need to "move on" from and just forgive about. I just don't want to be that tortured soul trying to reconcile my past. I just want to be able to "let go".

2. Summer classes began!

I have a motivated History professor, and an political English professor... so this should be an interesting summer. :)

3. The girls are now in a private day school.

A sad week for me since I have been a SAHM for almost three years now. But, the small break in the daytime has allowed me to do assignments in with out interruption, clean house, and do errands. Futhermore, I get to miss my little ladies!

"What not to say to your wife.." video - Hilarious!

This seriously gave me a chuckle.. Enjoy!

New York, New York!

I finally had a weekend getaway with "just the girls" to the big apple! I had never been away from Ayla and Keira this long, and the vacation was much needed. Mr. B was "Mr. Mommy" for the weekend and held down the fort while I was gone. So strange how the role reverses when mommy leaves the house. Mr. B has left plenty of times for training, deployments, and TAD; but, this was the first time mommy went away. Keira watched as I loaded my duffel bag and my pillow onto the mini-van, and she got excited and claimed that she was going on the trip too. I looked at her eager little eyes, and sighed, "Mommy is just going to be gone for a couple of days, and I am going to bring home something special for you."  I hopped into the van, and waved at my little family as we rolled by. I finally get a moment to breathe, and it was definitely bittersweet. I couldn't contain my excitement because I had never been to NYC before, and I wanted to cram everything I could in such a short time frame. The five other girls I was with are amazing! They are the sweetest people I have ever met, and their love for life is contagious. We kept ourselves occupied with songs, massages, and eating plenty of healthy snacks on the way.

That evening we stayed in New Jersey at a Super 8 and Sequiyah and I compared stories about boot camp experiences. (She was in the Army, and I was in the Marine Corps.) We laughed ourselves to sleep, and I completely crashed despite every one's grumbles of waking up to Sequiyah's little snores. I honestly can't recall, lol! I didn't realize how sleep deprived I was until I got an actual night of sleep. I woke up still mildly tired, but refreshed and got ready for the final leg to NYC.

We jumped into the van and we were on our way. We made it to the Lincoln tunnel and we could see the Empire state building in the distance. I wanted to pinch myself - we had made it! I was experiencing a weekend without the title of mommy, and wife. For once, I was "Holly" and it felt amazing.

We walked everywhere! It was crazy how busy and populated the streets were, and we couldn't help notice how much in shape New Yorker's were. I wouldn't mind living here for a summer.. all the walking, and the sites to see. I would definitely come back home twenty-five pounds less! We walked into Times Square, and browsed through the numerous shops, and finally made way to Broadway Street. We had orchestra seating to The Lion King! I was a bit nervous because of the events that took place just a week prior, and I couldn't help but feel extremely vulnerable. I tried to let go during the performance because I didn't want a attempted terrorist attack to ruin my weekend getaway. 

That evening, we made it back to the room to get ready for dinner, and by then, I was thoroughly exhausted from all the walking. I was becoming miss crabby cakes, and told the girls that I was going to call it a night. I crawled into bed, and called, Mr. B. I cried and whined. I believe I was feeling guilty about being in NYC for Mother's Day weekend without my family. I just couldn't believe how much I already missed my little girls! Keira got on the phone, and told me that she misses me and she loves me. She even asked if I was out partying. I chuckled, only daddy would've said something like that!

I went to bed shortly later, and woke up on Mother's Day fully refreshed. The girls surprised me with a lovely signed card, and high heel inserts and a tooth brush, (since I forgot mine at home and the hotel didn't supply any). It was really sweet! We went on a subway, and I got a little nauseous from being in such a confined vessel. I breathed through it, and prayed that we would hurry up and get to Chinatown soon. We looked at all of the busy stores, and bartered with the owners. We walked down to Little Italy, and was solicited on the street for each restaurants we passed by. It got quite overwhelming, and we were starving so we finally walked into one and hoped for the best, lol. We shared a pizza, and salad.. It was a wonderful experience! I made way across the street to and ordered their famous cannoli's and lobster tails - a perfect way to end my experience in New York. :)

We got home late that evening, and I kissed my Mr. B, and he surprised me with an edible arrangement and two cards. I headed up stairs and checked on the girls - I was so excited to see their innocent faces sound to sleep. I smiled as I crawled into bed.. Hubby didn't do such a bad job after all. :)